Calling All Single Eco-Conscious Men With Vim & Vigour

Due to a mysterious cause – possibly similar to the condition  recently described on the Channel 4 documentary,  “Embarrassing Diseases: Online Dating Phobia”, single women advertising on some specialist dating websites are left waiting with nothing to correspond with but their cats!

Professor Fritz von Offenlust, Emeritus professor of Online Dating diseases at Alabama University, said that the current situation is as bad as it has ever been. “It’s as if all the desires for normal, active, interesting, intelligent, fun women, many with a passion for the countryside, others for organic and vegetarian dishes, have been drained from the men.” he said.

It appears to afflict only men who would usually look for such women on websites such as Natural Friends. James and Barbara, who have operated their agency since 1985 have noticed a decline in the number  of virile, caring healthy single men.  They said that in the good old days the women had to fend off the attentions of competing males as they duelled across the phone wires with ever more appealing messages of love. Now, it seems, the empty attractions of the millions of Free To Join agencies have weakened many of their natural instincts.

A spokesperson at the Department of Human Interactivity and Home Building emphasised that the condition could be cured by firm, positive keyboard strokes in order to type Swift and concerted action by the men concerned would , almost certainly result in the happiness that is the common hope of most sufferers.

If you know anyone who has been personally affected by the inability to meet the surfeit of lovely women on the Natural Friends site, help them.  With the support of others who understand, time will heal all.

We are waiting for NICE (National Institute for Complementary Ecology) to authorise Natural-Friends as a cure for loneliness, stress, isolation and sexual dysfunction.  Until the Committee meets later this year, it is still possible to get a starter pack lasting 80 days for just £22. Instructions for the safe handling of the profiles, many of which could spontaneously combust if contacted carelessly, are given to all sufferers of the phobia.  Initially, if you are anxious about what to expect, a Free Search of all the profiles is available.

Find the real thing at